I’ve lost myself in motherhood. That might sound overdramatic – I know – but I recently realized it’s true.

My kids are small – 4.5 and 1.5 – and if you have young kids, then you know how beautiful and intensive these years are. I actively throw myself into motherhood, especially with the constant distractions of technology and pressures to be “more than a mom.” I seem to run headfirst – to be more mindful with them, to soak it all in. And I’m not saying I regret this at all – but I do realize that in giving my presence fully to my kids, I’ve started to lose presence with myself.

“In giving my presence fully to my kids, I’ve started to lose presence with myself.”

I had this realization a few months ago, sitting on the couch after getting both kids to sleep (again) and turning on the Taylor Swift Concert on Disney+. If you’re a Taylor Swift fan, then you may know where I’m going with this, but I found myself transported to the feeling I had when I was 16 with a brand new driver’s license, listening to “Our Song” blaring from a burnt CD. That feeling of youth, of freedom, of carelessness just came rushing back to me, and I sat there and cried. Not grieving where I was, but from the realization of how good it feels to enjoy something for myself.

Flash forward a few months and my husband miraculously found us tickets to the Eras Tour show. We embarked on a whirlwind weekend – dropping off the kids at 8 PM and driving across half the country just to see her show. I haven’t done anything so spontaneous in a very long time – and you know what – I was the happiest I’ve been in a very long time. Of course, my kids make me happy and there’s no love like that. But this was a different kind of happiness – a “me” type of happiness.

This was a different kind of happiness – a ‘me’ type of happiness.

I don’t have the answers on how to do this motherhood thing right or wrong – but I can share a few thoughts after my weekend for me.

Dive Headfirst into Motherhood

Do it. You won’t regret those small moments that you were present to experience with your children. The first steps, the late-night snuggles, the spontaneous giggles – these moments truly are fleeting and precious.

Prioritize Self-Care

It’s so important to carve out time for yourself. Whether it’s a quiet cup of (warm) coffee in the morning, a yoga session during nap time, or a hobby that you love, these small acts of self-care can recharge you.

Plan a Spontaneous Adventure

Sometimes, the best moments come from breaking the routine. Plan a spontaneous date night, a solo trip, or a concert getaway (can I suggest a Taylor show?). These experiences just might remind you of the vibrant person you are beyond motherhood.

Connect with Your Passions

Revisit the things that used to make you feel alive. It could be music, like in my case, painting, writing, or any other passion. These activities can reignite a part of you that might have been set aside for those laundry folding evenings.

Build a Support Network

Easier said than done, I know that first hand. But even as an expat I’ve built up a community over the years. Lean on friends, family, and fellow moms. Share your feelings and experiences. A strong support network can give you the emotional encouragement, help when you need it, and a sense of community.

Checking In On Yourself: Tips for Self-Care

Daily Journaling: Spend a few minutes each day writing down your thoughts, feelings, and experiences. It can be a therapeutic way to reflect and reconnect with yourself.
Mindfulness Practices: Incorporate mindfulness exercises into your routine. Whether it’s meditation, deep breathing, or mindful walking, these practices can help center you.
Set Boundaries: Learn to say no to activities or commitments that drain you. Focus on what truly matters to you and brings YOU joy.
Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small. It can boost your confidence and sense of self-worth.

I would say this blog is me taking a step for No. 1 – a little bit of journaling and getting my thoughts on paper. It feels pretty good!

With love,
Bethany